Jenn’s Scary Movie Collection | Shlock Footage

HEY!! Remember when I said I was going to try my hand at writing some non-anime stuff? Well, I did! Check out this movie review I wrote up for TehBen. I intend to write more stuff for them in the future, so consider giving the page a follow, too! 🙂

TEHBEN.COM

On the top floor the towering pink and purple TehBen office building located somewhere between Colorado and Maryland, a fed up Associate Editor is flipping through documents. With an ever growing pile of crumpled papers and bad ideas, he takes to his notepad to draft a letter to a promising young nerd with some questionable interests…

Dear Jenn Coulter,

TehBen.com is in dire need of your assistance! I’ll be blunt, we’re just about out of ideas. With our editor Ben cooling his heels in Mexico after that unfortunate steamroller/clown parade incident, and with the door to Nelson Rockingham’s sex dungeon being jammed by an umbrella, I feel it’s finally time to turn to some new talent for help. From what I’ve seen on your blog and on twitter, I can only hope to put you to work for our readers before the FBI catch wind of your lurid…

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Top 10 Anime Eyebrows of Summer 2019: Return Of The Brow Inspector

I’ve really fumbled the eyebrow bag this season…well, the past few seasons, really. I gotta be honest with you, I have not watched shit lately. I’ve caught some Dr. Stone and Fire Force in passing via my boyfriend watching it in the living room, but that’s about it.

HOWEVER. Dr. Stone characters ALONE have some truly inspirational eyebrows. Taiju has the kind of thick fuzzy peaks that would make Groucho Marx jealous, and Senku’s lightening accents above his eyes electrified me. Those beautiful silken strands pushed me to put my Female Eyebrow Inspector glasses back on and give the people another definitive Top Anime Eyebrow list.

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“Hey Jenn, what have you been up to?” “Not much, just watching short films about talking penises and vaginas.”

penis animated lol sawako kabuki

Whoa! Long time, no post! I’ve been slacking in the anime-watching department – in fact, I don’t think I’ve actually finished an anime series or even watched an anime movie in MONTHS. It makes it pretty hard to upkeep an anime blog when you’re either watching a million anime at once or abstaining from it completely. I’ve been reading about anime, sure – I haven’t logged on here in a bit, but I’ve been lurking what you all have been sharing on Twitter and popping on to check out your opinions on the seasonals and whatnot. But I just haven’t been in the mood to actually watch or talk about any anime stuff myself.

But you know what I have been in the mood for, apparently? Watching animated short films about dicks and vaginas!!! I started using Letterboxd recently, and I keep stumbling upon movies that I had never even heard of before. I’ve fallen down a hole full of obscure animated features and shorts, and somehow stumbled upon a glorious grouping of experimental animated shorts featuring singing, purring, sprouting, and dancing private parts. Please, let me regale you with my finds!

NSFW from here on out, obviously.

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The Best English-Language Anime Rock Songs (Part One)

serial experiments lain music yoshitoshi abe

There was something badass going on in the world of late 90’s/early 2000’s anime soundtracks. A decent amount of anime had these anthemic, sweeping rock songs in their soundtracks. Often, these songs were sung in English and performed by non-Japanese singers. I don’t know if this was because Yoko Kanno was out in full-force during this time period and giving us Steve Conte-fronted goodness, or if more anime studios were going for crossover appeal with Western audiences.

Whatever the case, these songs are all awesome, and the story of how some of these English language songs and collaborations came to be are actually very interesting. Originally, I was just going to do a quick listicle, but I got carried away reading about these various performers. It seemed like a disservice not to share all the fruits of my research, so here is part one of my surprisingly long list of favorite English language anime rock performances.

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Anime First Episodes: The Good, The Bad, and The Forced Exposition

Hinamatsuri Episode One anime

Minor spoilers for Sarazanmai and Hinamatsuri.

Supposedly, there’s this thing called a “three-episode rule” that says you should watch three episodes of an anime before deciding to drop it. But, if you’re like me and you’re checking out every season’s new anime, three episodes is TOO MUCH time to waste. No, I’ve honed my critical senses to the point where I can usually get a sense of whether or not a show is trash within the first twenty minutes. Bad writing will usually rear its ugly head right from the beginning – sometimes as soon as the very first scene.

anime
Please, spare me three episodes! Tell me your show sucks immediately!

If an anime series starts with a map and a five minute narration of the world’s history, I’m immediately going to drop it. Nothing annoys me more than when a character drones on about its setting instead of just SHOWING it to me. Forced exposition like this is exhausting, and it’s almost impossible to actually retain these information dumps once they’re over. A setting needs to grow and expand along with the characters. A fictional world needs to be explored naturally, not explained away immediately. Keeping a little mystery to a series’ setting and characters is what makes viewers want to keep watching. If everything gets given away in the trailer or the opening sequence, what’s the point of sticking around?

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6 Weird, Mindscrew Women-Loving-Women Movies/Anime — PopLurker

Hey folks! I wrote a guest post over at PopLurker this week about my favorite genre of movies, Acid Trip Lesbians. Check out a little blurb from it here, and then follow the link to read the rest!

You may have heard that Kristen Stewart is slated to star in a holiday-themed lesbian rom-com in 2019. Yahoo! Good gay content to be had for all! KStew is a verified gay goddess, so a rom-com starring her will answer the fevered prayers of gay gals everywhere. Truth be told, a lot of our women-loving women’s movie prayers have been answered in the past few years – 2016 gave us the Oscar-nominated Carol, which delivered plenty of steamy romance, and a bunch of Cate Blanchett-in-a-big-fur-coat goodness.

…come to think of it, that was technically a Christmas movie, too…I’m sure Jesus is thankful that he’s finally getting lesbian movies for his birthday.

Now, those movies are definitely exciting, but what if you want your wlw media to be a little more…shroom trippy? Maybe rom-coms and dramas just aren’t your thing…you want something a little more David Lynchian. Maybe you only want to see lady loving in a movie that also features claymation murder sequences, aliens, girls turning into bears, or a fuckton of cocaine?

Well, don’t you worry. We’ve got you covered. We’re connoisseurs of Weird Shit, Gay Shit, and especially Weird Gay Shit. It can be hard to find good things to watch that are of the wlw variety, especially since googling “weird lesbian movies” is only going to give you awkward redirects to PornHub. Let us take you on a journey…

Read it in full here on PopLurker, and give them a follow while you’re at it – they post fun content like artist interviews and erotic novel reviews. Plus, I write stuff for them sometimes, so you know they’ve got some quality stuff! 😉

6 Weird, Mindscrew Women-Loving-Women Movies/Anime.

Life n’ Blog Updates (and some thank yous)

Yo! Long time no post, yeah? I’ve been slacking on the content, for various reasons, so I wanted to write up a little post catching y’all up on my life and all that.

The biggest thing has been my move. It’s understandably taken me a bit of time to actually adjust to my new environment. I had been looking forward to the freedom of my own place for a while now, but I forgot how stressful having a new space can be. For some reason, I thought that once I moved in, I would immediately go into a fevered writing spree, catch my blog up, and get back to sketching but…I severely underestimated the amount of time it would take for me to adjust.

little witch academia oopss

Truthfully, this gap in content-writing has me in a bit of a rut. I really want to take writing more seriously, and the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that this site isn’t the right way for me to do that. I’ve been strongly considering starting a new site – one that’s not as boxed in by the topic of anime. I’ve thought of making something that focused on horror, sci-fi, and anime oddities, as well as personal essays. There are some Serious Topics that I would really like to do write-ups about, but they be awfully out of place on a site like this that has Top 10 Anime Eyebrow countdowns.

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