The Baby | Shlock Footage

HELLO all, I promise I’ll write about anime again soon, but I’ve been busy watching shitty movies. You understand, right? Anyways, I wrote another lil review of a stinker called The Baby for TehBen.com last week – check it out!

TEHBEN.COM

Hello, zillions of loyal readers! I know you’ve been anxiously awaiting the newest installment of SCHLOCK FOOTAGE – sitting on the edge of your seat, biting your nails, sweating, drooling, YEARNING for a new movie recommendation about nuns, titties, vampires, or all the above.

WELL! I’ve got you covered. This time around, allow me to tell you the story of an adult baby. And no, it’s not a fetish thing…at least, I don’t think it is. We’re watching 1973’s cult classic, The Baby.

This movie is listed as a horror-thriller, but that doesn’t really do it justice. It’s more of a Lifetime movie gone wild. The Baby is about Anne, a social worker who develops a strong interest in the case of the Wadworths – Mrs. Wadworth, her two daughters, Germaine and Alba, and her seemingly mentally-disabled son, Baby. Yes, the adult baby’s name is just, “Baby” even like…

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Well, it LOOKED cute: A look at art style dissonance in anime

Hey all, this is a repost of a blog entry from 2018. I’m trying to get back into writing stuff like this, so I’m giving it a reblog as inspiration for me! Plus, consider this a placeholder while I try to get back into my groove 🙂

Have you ever been fooled by an anime’s cutesy art style? Were you one of the people who were absolutely floored when episode three of Madoka Magica came around, or someone who wasn’t expecting Made in Abyss to involve so much gore and vomit based on the character designs? Did you think Doki Doki Literature was just an innocent dating sim?

Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Even Cactus Matt was fooled by a manga’s cover art recently! The poor fella just wanted to see some cute anime girls, but instead he got cute anime girls melting!

This concept of having an art style that doesn’t necessarily match up with the show’s tone is commonly utilized in anime. It’s called art style dissonance. The logic behind it is simple enough – if you see a cute looking character getting absolutely obliterated, you’re (probably) going to be more shocked by what’s happening. That can’t happen to her, she’s got pink hair and big moe eyes!

There are the more well-known examples like Madoka and Made in Abyss that I mentioned above, but those just scratch the surface. There are many, many series that utilize this method. Let’s take a look at some of my favorites.

Content warning: since this post is specifically talking about anime that are secretly fucked up, there’s some mention of some fucked up stuff in here. Some mentions of body horror and sexual assault beyond this point.

Continue reading “Well, it LOOKED cute: A look at art style dissonance in anime”

Japanese Jams: New music releases from January 2020

Music has become a bigger part of my life recently for one very boring reason: I cannot focus at work without music playing in the background. It’s an office gig, so it’s a whole lot of running reports and staying seated. You figure I’m at a desk for 40 hours a week, so I’m listening to stuff in my headphones for a lot of that time…which means I get tired of the music on my phone pretty quickly. As a result, I end up searching for random new music to listen to online – I can only listen to Spice World so many times in a week, after all! 😉

To switch up my music routine a little bit, and to give myself a writing prompt for this blog I barely update, I thought it would be fun to check Bandcamp for new Japan release and write mini-reviews of things I found. I soon realized that it would be hard to actually figure out what music was ACTUALLY coming from Japan – apparently, every vaporwave artist who makes “chill anime beats” mixes lists their location as Japan, even though they’re probably over in Toronto or something. But, I did eventually findsome neat, actual Japanese music to listen to, so I thought I would share it with all of you!

Continue reading “Japanese Jams: New music releases from January 2020”

The Great Ketchup Cake Caper of Magia Record

Part of the appeal of Shaft’s animations is that there is ALWAYS something going on in the background. It makes for great re-watchability. Once you’ve watched a new episode of the studio’s Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story, rewind, turn those subtitles off and look for pendulums swinging symbolically in the background. Check out the hidden details of a Witch’s Labyrinth, or see if any street signs start displaying tidbits about a characters’ emotional state.

Or, go rewind because THIS GIRL JUST PUT KETCHUP ON HER CAKE. Yeah. Are you seeing that screenshot? That’s for sure ketchup, right? And then, to make matters worse, it seems that she’s decorated the ketchup swirls with…candy and a wad of meat? Excuse me?

It can’t be some kind of meat pie, right? Then there would be beef pouring out the sides or something when she cut into it. Another troubling thing is the fact that there doesn’t seem to even be ketchup on the table. Does she have a secret stash of ketchup on her at all times? Lastly, none of the other magical girls seem to react to her decking her cheesecake out in ketchup – no one except for the newbie, Iroha, anyways. This leads me to believe that this is a regular occurrence. She must be dousing things in ketchup so often that her friends don’t even react to it anymore.

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WHERE DID IT COME FROM??

A few others have speculated on this odd phenomenon. Scott posited that maybe she’s eating a potato cake somehow. Remy gives the impression that she might just be a monster, like theYouTube lady who puts ketchup on her French toast. K at the Moviespoints out that she should just cut out the middle man and eat one of those Canadian ketchup cakes.

In all likelihood, it’s just a clever visual gag from the people who brought you similar fast-paced visual comedy in the Monogatari series. I love the idea of a conference room full of creators and animators being like, “yes, as Momoko is detailing the logistics of Witches, have this girl do some goofy shit in the foreground like putting ketchup on a cake.” Once again, Shaft is proving that they’re on another level, because they have the power to make me pause an important scene just to marvel at small details.

This anime is based off a game, too, and I gotta be honest – this mystery is making me want to download the mobile app just to see if this girl does more things like this canonically. Guess that’s just part of Shaft’s genius, too! Get me to download a game off of a freaking ketchup gag!

Great, now I definitely am going to play the game to learn more about this girl…

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! Helps Us Crusty Adults Tap Into Our Childhood

One of the things I miss the most about being a kid is just…being able to be alone. I miss being able to sit in the quiet darkness of the early-early morning, wrapped in a blanket, watching anime or playing video games. No expectations, no responsibilities awaiting me the next day – just me and whatever new world I’ve chosen to immerse myself in.

When I think of being a little kid, I don’t so much think about friendships or family Christmases. I think about the oasis that was my Mom Mom’s computer room – being able to sneak upstairs late at night to watch Naruto on YouTube and having nothing else but the hum of the air conditioner and my little sister’s light snoring to keep me company. Or, I think about those nights spent watching [adult swim], falling asleep as Detective Conan fades into the early morning shows like Baby Looney Tunes.

I mean, I can still stay up late, I guess – if I want to risk ruining my work day the next morning. It’s not really as fun, because, you know, by one in the morning I’ve realized that I’m about to ruin my sleep schedule for the week. The immersion isn’t quite there anymore – I can’t seem to fully divorce myself from Real World Bullshit anywhere near as easily as I could when I was a kid. Hell, even as well as I could when I was a college student.

There are two reasons I started thinking about the freedom of childhood cartoon-watching and video game playing. One was that my recent winter break from the office allowed me to lose myself in the world of Death Stranding until three in the morning. It’s been a looooong time since I was able to explore a video game world for so long, without having to feel guilty about it. The other reason was the premiere of the new Masaaki Yuasa anime, Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

Continue reading Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! Helps Us Crusty Adults Tap Into Our Childhood”

Nujabes, [adult swim], and Cowboy Bebop: How anime influenced my music taste as a kid

Have you ever found yourself watching a movie or listening to music and wondering how your tastes got to be what they are today? I enjoy mapping out my own taste-makers in my head: it’s fun to think about how one thing I liked as a kid would kick-start a full investigation into a new genre, a new niche, a new world.

I’ve been listening to a lot more new music lately – well, new to me, anyways. My desk job graciously allows me to listen to music as I work, so I’ve been seeking out more things to fill those eight hours with. I’ve been listening to lots of atmospheric stuff, lots of hip-hop and jazz, and lots of Japanese noise rock and J-pop influenced artists.

One day, I found myself wondering, “what makes me gravitate towards this type of music?” Most of my teenage music taste consisted of emo and scene kid music – stuff that I mostly can’t stand anymore. Where did this blossoming urge to listen to completely different music come from?

And then it hit me. So much of my current music taste has been greatly influenced by the anime I watched as a young kid.

serial experiments lain music yoshitoshi abe
Real picture of me, age 10, discovering the world of anime music. No, it’s not Lain, it’s me

Continue reading “Nujabes, [adult swim], and Cowboy Bebop: How anime influenced my music taste as a kid”

Killer Nun | Shlock Footage

HELLO ALL. I promise I will watch an anime again…some day. And maybe, when I watch one, I’ll even write about it, too. But in the meantime…I watched another goofy and horny horror movie. Please read my words about KILLER NUN!

TEHBEN.COM

Ah, the holiday season. Mariah Carey and ABC Family’s time to shine. Time for eggnog, snickerdoodles, cuddling by the fire, and general wholesomeness…or so I’ve heard, at least. Truth is, while you and your family are sitting around watching claymation elves, seasoned degenerates like myself are watching LESBIAN NUNS DO OPIOIDS. Santa gave up on the TehBen crew long ago – all we get from him now is coal and the occasional Dollar Store coupon for toxic-waste colored Mountain Dew. All that being said, he won’t care if we celebrate Jesus’s birthday with a little nunsploitation. So gather round the yule log and let me tell you about Giulio Berruti’s masterpiece, KILLER NUN.

Sister Gertrude (Anita Ekberg) works as a nurse at a convent, and she’s been having a rough time ever since she had brain surgery. Her memory has been failing her, she’s irritable, she’s developing an…

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