Killer Nun | Shlock Footage

HELLO ALL. I promise I will watch an anime again…some day. And maybe, when I watch one, I’ll even write about it, too. But in the meantime…I watched another goofy and horny horror movie. Please read my words about KILLER NUN!

TEHBEN.COM

Ah, the holiday season. Mariah Carey and ABC Family’s time to shine. Time for eggnog, snickerdoodles, cuddling by the fire, and general wholesomeness…or so I’ve heard, at least. Truth is, while you and your family are sitting around watching claymation elves, seasoned degenerates like myself are watching LESBIAN NUNS DO OPIOIDS. Santa gave up on the TehBen crew long ago – all we get from him now is coal and the occasional Dollar Store coupon for toxic-waste colored Mountain Dew. All that being said, he won’t care if we celebrate Jesus’s birthday with a little nunsploitation. So gather round the yule log and let me tell you about Giulio Berruti’s masterpiece, KILLER NUN.

Sister Gertrude (Anita Ekberg) works as a nurse at a convent, and she’s been having a rough time ever since she had brain surgery. Her memory has been failing her, she’s irritable, she’s developing an…

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Cellar Dweller | Shlock Footage

Happy Halloween!!!!!! I’m still slacking on anime watchings, but I do wanna share this thang I wrote about the late John Carl Buechler’s low-budget straight-to-video/laserdisc romp, Cellar Dweller. CHECK IT OUT!!

TEHBEN.COM

Work is stressful and poopy, and whenever I return home, I just don’t have the brain capacity to do anything but watch direct-to-laserdisc horror movies. Lucky for me and all my fellow degenerates, movies like that are REALLY easy to find online – I guess no one’s really that concerned with doing copyright takedowns on these bad boys, huh?

My most recent B-movie find was Cellar Dweller, directed by John Carl Buechler. It was a bittersweet discovery – Buechler sadly passed earlier this year from prostate cancer. It feels like a fitting tribute to settle in and watch one of his flicks during the Halloween season.

Let me tell you a little bit about Mr. Buechler. The dude rules. Not only has he directed cult classics like The Dungeonmaster and Troll, but he also did the special-effects make-up for the Re-Animator franchise, Ghoulies, and more. He’s even worked…

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Anime Escapism, or why my depressed ass watched so many Japanese cartoons

It’s been a long time since I’ve actually sat down and watched any anime. My anime-viewing habits are pretty fickle. I either binge watch ten series all the way through in a month, or I don’t watch anything other than snippets of whatever shounen my boyfriend’s watching in the living room.

Maybe it was a bit foolish to start a whole anime blog based on such a spotty interest. It’s not that I like anime any LESS during my dry spells…it’s just that I really only gravitate towards anime when I’m in need for some hardcore escapism.

Image result for anime escape
That’s me, escaping my problems

Continue reading “Anime Escapism, or why my depressed ass watched so many Japanese cartoons”

Jenn’s Scary Movie Collection | Shlock Footage

HEY!! Remember when I said I was going to try my hand at writing some non-anime stuff? Well, I did! Check out this movie review I wrote up for TehBen. I intend to write more stuff for them in the future, so consider giving the page a follow, too! 🙂

TEHBEN.COM

On the top floor the towering pink and purple TehBen office building located somewhere between Colorado and Maryland, a fed up Associate Editor is flipping through documents. With an ever growing pile of crumpled papers and bad ideas, he takes to his notepad to draft a letter to a promising young nerd with some questionable interests…

Dear Jenn Coulter,

TehBen.com is in dire need of your assistance! I’ll be blunt, we’re just about out of ideas. With our editor Ben cooling his heels in Mexico after that unfortunate steamroller/clown parade incident, and with the door to Nelson Rockingham’s sex dungeon being jammed by an umbrella, I feel it’s finally time to turn to some new talent for help. From what I’ve seen on your blog and on twitter, I can only hope to put you to work for our readers before the FBI catch wind of your lurid…

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Top 10 Anime Eyebrows of Summer 2019: Return Of The Brow Inspector

I’ve really fumbled the eyebrow bag this season…well, the past few seasons, really. I gotta be honest with you, I have not watched shit lately. I’ve caught some Dr. Stone and Fire Force in passing via my boyfriend watching it in the living room, but that’s about it.

HOWEVER. Dr. Stone characters ALONE have some truly inspirational eyebrows. Taiju has the kind of thick fuzzy peaks that would make Groucho Marx jealous, and Senku’s lightening accents above his eyes electrified me. Those beautiful silken strands pushed me to put my Female Eyebrow Inspector glasses back on and give the people another definitive Top Anime Eyebrow list.

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“Hey Jenn, what have you been up to?” “Not much, just watching short films about talking penises and vaginas.”

penis animated lol sawako kabuki

Whoa! Long time, no post! I’ve been slacking in the anime-watching department – in fact, I don’t think I’ve actually finished an anime series or even watched an anime movie in MONTHS. It makes it pretty hard to upkeep an anime blog when you’re either watching a million anime at once or abstaining from it completely. I’ve been reading about anime, sure – I haven’t logged on here in a bit, but I’ve been lurking what you all have been sharing on Twitter and popping on to check out your opinions on the seasonals and whatnot. But I just haven’t been in the mood to actually watch or talk about any anime stuff myself.

But you know what I have been in the mood for, apparently? Watching animated short films about dicks and vaginas!!! I started using Letterboxd recently, and I keep stumbling upon movies that I had never even heard of before. I’ve fallen down a hole full of obscure animated features and shorts, and somehow stumbled upon a glorious grouping of experimental animated shorts featuring singing, purring, sprouting, and dancing private parts. Please, let me regale you with my finds!

NSFW from here on out, obviously.

Continue reading ““Hey Jenn, what have you been up to?” “Not much, just watching short films about talking penises and vaginas.””

My Favorite English-Language Anime Rock Songs

serial experiments lain music yoshitoshi abe

There was something badass going on in the world of late 90’s/early 2000’s anime soundtracks. A decent amount of anime had these anthemic, sweeping rock songs in their soundtracks. Often, these songs were sung in English and performed by non-Japanese singers. I don’t know if this was because Yoko Kanno was out in full-force during this time period and giving us Steve Conte-fronted goodness, or if more anime studios were going for crossover appeal with Western audiences.

Whatever the case, these songs are all awesome, and the story of how some of these English language songs and collaborations came to be are actually very interesting. Originally, I was just going to do a quick listicle, but I got carried away reading about these various performers. It seemed like a disservice not to share all the fruits of my research, so here is part one of my surprisingly long list of favorite English language anime rock performances.

Continue reading “My Favorite English-Language Anime Rock Songs”