YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS, FOLKS! That’s right, it’s about a week after the end of the last anime season, which means it’s time for my to put on my Eyebrow Assessment Monocle and distribute the coveted award of Best Anime Eyebrow.
Believe it or not, I actually followed a lot of series through this season. I was BIG into Boogiepop and The Promised Neverland in particular, and of course Mob Psycho 100. If I were a better blogger, I would write a review of those series, but alas. I only review eyebrows here, not entire anime series.
Now, infamously, I write these Top 10 lists without having actually seen any of the season’s offerings. This time, I actually watched, but somehow that made this list HARDER to write. I was busy paying attention to insignificant things like a character’s pErSoNaLiTy and bEhAvIoR. But no worries, I have now adjusted the monocle and am ready to list.
#10 Aultcray Melomarc XXXII – Shield Hero
I extremely did not watch Shield Hero. In fact, I avoided it like the plague. I don’t like isekai shows, and I was tired of seeing everyone post that dog-girl or whatever. However, I do have to give the show props for giving this king guy such royal eyebrows. I’m guessing he’s a king, anyways. That’s what his eyebrows seem to be signaling…and also, I’m picking up some subtle signals form the, uh, crown and robes.
#9 Izana Langford – Price of Smiles
Those eyebrows exude powerful, androgynous energy. I don’t know about the price of smiles, but the price of those EYEBROWS are HIGH! Hahaahahahhahahaaahhajejadaha
#8 Ueno – How Clumsy Are You, Ueno-san
How clumsy is she? No clue! I didn’t watch this! But from what I can gather, it’s about a girl who is perpetually angry. And what does an angry girl need? Angry eyebrows! I had to include her, since the eyebrows seem to really show her true nature. Though, since I didn’t watch this, it’s possible that she’s not angry at all. In that case, the eyebrows are doing a terrible job of showing her true nature!
#7 Mao – Endro!
This little demon girl does have the angry, nubby brows I crave, but…they’re just not thick enough to break high on this list. I do appreciate them, though. Perhaps they could have ranked higher in a thinner season.
#6 Dororo – Dororo
Leave it to Osamu Tezuka to stay serving us eyebrow goodness after all these years. Blackjack has some of the best eyebrows I’ve ever seen, so I expect nothing but the best from the father of manga. Unfortunately, Dororo pales in comparison to Blackjack. Still, I must give him props for serving scraggle. It keeps him looking mischievous yet genuine.
#5 Phil – The Promised Neverland
There’s a lot I could say about Phil. A lot. But I’m trying to keep this spoiler-free for anyone who isn’t caught up. It’s very hard, because there are a lot of eyebrow-to-character parallels I could be making right now. But I guess I’ll keep them to myself. I guess.
I will say that I’m a sucker for those nubby brows, especially when they’re thick. Phil is a real one. Such strong eyebrows for a four-year-old…I’m just so proud of my beautifully browed boy.
#4 Ishigami Yu – Kaguya-sama Love Is War
Listen. I know what you’re thinking. “Jenn, you can only see one eyebrow! It’s not even that thicc, and it’s in your top 5? What are you THINKING?!?!”
I should slap you for doubting my eyebrow expertise. Don’t you see? There’s courage in that eyebrow. One brow carries the entire face. One eyebrow must convey the emotions of two eyebrows on its own. He is a Lone Brow, braving the world of the forehead all on its own. If you can’t salute this brave troop, UNFOLLOW ME NOW!
#3 Chika – The Magnificent Kotobuki
THERE THEY ARE. THE THICK NUBS I LOVE. This season was VERY lacking in angry, nubby anime girl eyebrows. But thankfully, this underdog from an underrated anime delivered for me. She even does the cute moe thick brow look, too! We stan a versatile pair of brows.
#2 Kazuko Suema – Boogiepop wa Warawanai (or, Boogiepop and Others)
These are excellent, excellent eyebrows. Detail? Check. Curvature? Check. Thicc? Checc. Suema’s eyebrows give her a certain mature aura, and compliment her character very well. They’re also slightly paradoxical – they are clearly growing in quite fast, hence their thickness, yet they remain short and nubby. In fact, those eyebrows are almost a metaphor for her – grown, yet still a child.
To clarify, the light novel character design does NOT qualify for best anime eyebrows. They are thin, lackluster, and pathetic. Boogiepop Phantom Suema is fine, but lacks the dignifying shape and detail of 2019 Boogiepop. Though there may be debate over which Boogiepop iteration is best, I can confidently say that Boogiepop wa Warawanai improved upon all of its character’s eyebrows. Bless you, Hidehiko Sawada.
#1 Goda Musashi – Mob Psycho 100 II
HOOOOOO-WEEE! Look at those bad boys. They’ve got thickness, they’ve got a strong arch, and occasionally, they even show signs of that scraggle I like so much. Best of all, they compliment Musashi’s equally thick sideburns so well. Sidebar: I’m strongly considering doing a Best Sideburn list in the near future.
Musashi is the Body Improvement Club’s president, but it looks like those eyebrows could lift some weights themselves. Perhaps there is a correlation between physical strength and eyebrow strength? Perhaps the strongest muscle of all is…the brow…muscle.
Phew, I can finally take the monocle off. Those are pretty impractical, you know. I bet Yu would look great if he paired his one brow with one lens, though.
So, have any nominations for best eyebrows? I’m SURE I missed some. Please, let me know! And, if you’re so inclined, check out last season’s Top 10 Eyebrows, too!